I shall share my precious secrets with my litto teacups ♥ ^__^

I know I've been away quite a bit; and to make up for it, I shall share with you my secret to soft, smooth, flawless skin =) I hope it works for your skin type as well as it does mine!

This is a facial recipe I have been using for a while now (Approximately 4.5 weeks). Within the first week my face was clearing up and began looking as it did in my preteen years (Before those first horrid pubescent breakouts we all despised so. Sadly, mine never ceased...). However, when I skipped a day, it went back to its old self and took a day or two to clear up once again. I dont use any facial scrub, or facial soap products, or toner anymore. The only product I currently use is a spot of moisturizer twice a day after each use of the scrub: when I wake each morning and once more at night after I bathe. At that statement one would think, "Well, dear, its just the lack of chemical product that caused your skin to clear." But, I have tried that tactic times before; it causes a worse breakout when I use nothing at all. Personally, I think it is purely the natural factors, nutrients and vitamins that my skin needs.

Recipe Ingredients-Scrub:

50ml sugar - (~.25cups)

~white sugar for oily skin or skin in need of exfoliation~

~brown sugar for sensitive skin~

5ml room temp to cold matcha/green tea (1tsp)

Choose one:

~5ml honey-moisturizing effects (1tsp)

~5ml plain yogurt-skin soothing effects (1tsp)

~5ml lemon juice-cleansing and tightening effects (1tsp)

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Recipe Ingredients-Toner:

~15ml room temp matcha/green tea (~1tbsp)

~5ml lemon juice- tightening effects (1tsp, optional)

What I did was: I brewed my tea, let it steep in a teacup (or pot of course). After it is nice and strong, I pored just a tad into a tiny bowl, to which I then added lemon. It is better to mix the toner while it remains warm-hot. I poured ~10ml (little over .5oz) mixture into a small salt/pepper shaker that I found at the　マーケット。 ^^ It's cute, it opens and closes with a litto button! =] Just perfect for tipping onto a facial cotton round! I waited until the tea cooled almost completely to continue on to the scrub. It shouldn't be too warm or it'll melt the sugar and you don't want that. After it cooled, I scooped the sugar into a small bowl and drizzled matcha overtop. Mixed it a bit after drizzling the tea. I chose honey, rather than lemon (because of my sensitive skin and I did not have yogurt), which I then added and mixed thoroughly. You want it to have a wet grainy consistency to it, but not too wet or it wont cooperate when you apply it, it will just slide off your face and fingertips before you have a chance to scrub. I suggest following the recipe for the first time, to get the gist of the consistency and feeling, then adjusting it to your liking. I keep my scrub in a mini jam jar which I was pleased to find a tiny spoon to fit nicely inside ^__^

When you wake, splash some warm water on your face to open up your pores. Use the sugar scrub and rub your face kindly in a circular motion with the tips of your fingers while avoiding your eye area. You can use it to exfoliate your lips every now and then but I strongly suggest being very gentle! After you scrub, use warm water to rinse it off. The warm water will melt the sugar and re-open your pores helping to absorb the nutrients sugar, matcha and honey have to offer. If you would like, splash some cool water on your face after rinsing to help close your pores a little. Pat your face dry. Take your cotton round and tip your lemon tea toner onto it about 2~3 times. Gently rub it on your face. It is alright to use this on your eye area but be careful not to get it in your eyes, lemon has no place in your eyes! xD To finish off, spread a spot of moisturizer onto your hands and pat it on, cupping your cheeks in your hands and moving them up and down and on your forehead, chin and nose; dont forget your neck! (Depending on your skin type, you may need more moisturizer than that.) I use a moisturizer equip with sun protection =)

To keep my face oil-free throughout the day (I have a problem with oily skin), I use the toner whenever I feel my face becoming oily. ~3x a day.

Thats it! Fresh morning glow! =]

On to the photos! xD

The comments about the photos will be under the photo they describe =)

I know it gets confusing at times not knowing whether to read above or below.

Im almost out of my toner in these photos. I use these soft facial cotton rounds to apply the toner, as you see on the right.

See the litto holes? ^^ Pores quite well! Just like a toner bottle but better!

I have sensitive skin but also very oily skin, so I opted for white sugar as you can see. The brown sugar scrub will appear more mapley than yellow as this one does (White sugar = grainy rough sand, brown sugar = fine smooth sand). I just am sure not to scrub for too long or too hard lest I get red spots because of my skin-type O.o However, if you use this and your face becomes a little red post-scrub, don't worry, it will go away in a minute or so =] I may try swapping 30ml of white sugar for brown sugar in the future, to simulate the two sizes of scrubbing beads you see in facial scrubs and shower gels. I tried using just brown sugar once but it did less for my oily skin.

See how all the honey has separated and lies atop the sugar? The first time I made this I dumped that out, but then I realized I'm taking out the best part! So now I mix up the top half of the scrub before I use it. I don't go into and heavy mixing since I only need about 5-10ml anyway ^^

There! All mixed! See how it is fully yellow now?

Like the inside of a sweet sugary honey hive ^__^

The amount in this jar (~55ml/~.25cups) lasts about 2.5 weeks, not bad. As I mentioned earlier, the only chemical product I currently use is moisturizer. I say "currently" because I plan to start a Shu Uemura or Shiseido night routine in the future. I think it is time I begin caring for my skin properly so as to age well =) just because there are no age lines or wrinkles yet doesn't mean to wait until you receive your first line right? ^^ I've been thinking, I could get them on ebay ^^ They are quite expensive and I figure as long as they are unopened it should be just fine! Otherwise Id have to be awfully rich! xD

i apologize for the neglect

ive been away for so long and i do apologize girls. i feel so bad that i have neglected you all, i miss you all so much! i miss reading about your day and giving you comments of encouragement...but alas...i have no drive anymore. i feel as if ive nothing to say; i am so sorry. this place has just become so sad for me. when i open this tab and begin to type, all i want to do is yammer and whine about how its not fair and because i want to do that i end up reminiscing about the past and then i get sad and miss it and that puts my thinking in a bad spot; shifts my mind into relapse mode which is hell to switch off let me tell you!

some days i feel alright and can accept my body for what it is, some days i cant stand this "thing" im in, this sack of fleshy jello i call my body, and there are others still where i am in between, neither accepting nor bashing it.

i happened to have a chance for a weigh-in --or rather a forced weigh-in-- while checking on a house to be sure all was well while the owner has been away. despite sort of being forced and despite having my weight so clearly and embarrassingly seen, i cant say it was too horrible because i really did want to know. i debated sneaking to check while i couldnt be seen, but the scale was noticed whether i wanted it to be or not. and of course, everyone is so eager to unneededly know what i weigh and ask how well i eat rather than take notice by them self that i look healthy and that i eat 5-6x a day (almost all the time). i just dont understand what the numbers matter if i look healthy; numbers are just numbers as skin colour is just skin colour. im glad i stood up for myself after being told my weight was bad, even though it was a very meek way to do so. i replied "oh really?...i was 95 when i got here..." implying that no one had a problem with my weight appearance then, which is true. let alone the fact that we had a scale at home and i was on that confounded contraption everyday, weighing-in an obscene amount of times daily so i know for certain i was 95 upon arrival and that i was what they call healthy; my doctor had required me to lose to 95 when i was overweight. anyhow, i am currently 95.8lbs (43.5kg ; trying to get used to metric for japanese). i wasnt bothered by it at the time because i was too busy being embarrassed that it was point 8 and being embarrassed that i was being told that my weight is bad. but digging below the embarrassment, i was actually very pleased at the time and super relieved that it wasnt up into the hundreds like i had envisioned! --if there was someone who would be wishing for my relapse, that wouldve been the way to do it!-- but after a while of letting 95.8 sink in, i felt so sarcastic: " sooo im 95.8 woopiedooo...oooh my goshhh the worlds gonna end im sooo thin." i mean c'mon, its 95.8. its just 95.8 -__- the question should be "why isnt it 95? whats wrong with me? why is there a point 8? i was 95 before all of this idocy for goodness sake! where have i gone wrong?" ...but i know why it is point 8. its point 8 because all that eating ive been doing is 50% sweets; not exactly the kind of food im supposed to be eating more of. my goodness! what am i trying to have diabetes?

"They all think I have changed---but it is my scar that has prejudiced their minds and allowed their fears to infect their imagination...they see what they want to see" or rather what their imagination has led them to envision. --from a book i read i cannot remember the title, but it wasnt an eating disorder book i know that. just a little quip i thought fit the topic of todays post.

well, ive been doing okay eating wise...beside all those horrid junks that this country indulges on with little thought to health. but when i notice that my eating is becoming impulsive again, i just remind myself of what i had learnt on my trip last year:
1) stop immediately when i feel sensations of being full
2) ignore what is left on my plate, it will not be the last time i taste it. if it must be thrown away, it must. if not, i could always save it for later
3) if it is too tempting to clean my plate, push it away

and some very good ones ive added of my own:
4) eat as soon as possible after waking in the morning
5) do not eat unless i feel hungry/do not eat out of boredom/do not eat unnessesarily
6) drink tea or water whenever possible rather than other drinks. tea and water is very good to flush the body and keep the body hydrated
7) if i want soda, try to make it diet 0cal sodas. it is much healthier for the body

ive been eating alot of oatmeal, and alot of chazuke. ochazuke is a very healthy meal (if made correctly). it consists of tea, rice and toppings/seasonings:
a) a small bowl of calrose rice submerged in:
b)tea:
hot matcha aka-green tea
genmaicha aka-brown tea
or just hot water sprinkled with your choice of:
c)toppings or seasonings:
furikake (litto rice seasonings)
nametake (slimy mushrooms)
salmon or other fish flakes
ajitsuke nori (flavored seaweed strips)
ume (pickled plums)
chirimenjako (dried anchovies)
tobiko (flyfish eggs or flying fish roe)
ikura (salmon eggs or salmon roe)
a packet of ready-made ochazuke seasonings
etc...there is a large array of choices probably even i dont know. but this is a filling and healthy dish option for any meal! =) personally i could eat it every single day for every single meal! ^__^