be new:: February 2013

be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...

Welcome

Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ
ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	High
Dysthymia:	Very High
Bipolar Disorder:	High
Cyclothymia:	High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Low
Postpartum Depression:	N/A

Sunday, February 10, 2013

back from holiday

So! It has been around 2 months! I had a splendid holiday home! Turns out I'm moving back!

Bad thing is that the Internet is so extremely spotty that it makes it near to impossible to blog. I've been using Instagram. Since it is an app, it is much easier and I am able to post things quickly and easily.

kiyomimaro is my name there if you'd like to follow me!

I'll keep this blog for when I secure a new job and get a laptop with Internet for Uni. I'm not disappearing ^__^

I am currently maintaining 43kg (95 lbs)! I really want to lose to 88 (8 is a safe and even number so two of them is swell!), but I am pushing underweight as it is and I really want to try my hardest! I have bad days still, but who doesn't? I am trying to remember to chin-up on bad days and remember what I am fighting for.

kiyomi

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This is my current eating plan to help further me in my personal desires; however, I may not always follow this plan at every meal everyday ^//^ life is full of surprises and unexpectancies which cannot be helped ne?

☆Black coffee for breakfast to get my body going and to start up my metabolism.
☆Avoid having anything during the day. Only have dinner to satisfy the binge desire.
☆If I need to eat during the day, have fruits or vegetables.
☆Staples: tofu, fish, lite soups, soba, gluten-free tapioca bread.
☆Drink only water {option with lemon}, tea or coffee. If I must have something more, go for real juices: apple juice, grape juice, cranberry juice.
☆Eat as many fruits and veggies as I can.
☆Wherever possible: fat-free, reduced-fat, lite, gluetn-free, low-calorie, sugar-free foods.
☆Do not eat too many pre-packaged foods regardless of low-calorie.
☆Last and most importantly: DO NOT OVER EAT!!! No more than fist-sized meals / only eating until the hungry growls fade away.

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私の名前はきいです。

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Sunday, February 10, 2013

back from holiday

be new:

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