be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Friday, April 15, 2011

my tumblr



Hullo girls, goodness how I miss you all! I've made a tumblr! ^__^ I decided to give it a try. If you have one I'd love if you followed me, and I you, so we can keep in touch! I am sorry that I'm not able to blog as often as I used to...I just found that I've nothing to say anymore since I began keeping things in again. I do not know if that is good or bad...its as if I lack the ability to feel. I am happy in the shallowest sense of the word for I have never truly known what happiness is. I suppose the correct word would hover around words such as: content, passable, okay, decent, sufficient, unobjectionable, moderate, and the like. Tell me in comments or on my tumblr or Facebook even, are you well? Are you happy? Are you sad? I hope I have provided some help to you all in my being here as you all have helped me in my struggles. I cannot say that I am fully "recovered", if that word even exists for us; for I know that if anything tragic, or what I consider to be tragic, were ever to happen, or if I found myself in a world where I am alone and did not feel responsible for any one's feelings, as wrong of me as it may be, I would run backwards as fast as I could and not stop until my body turned to dust; a casual little cyclone blowing happily in the cool wind, leaving behind only the delicate frame of a girl who never knew happiness but died to grasp it at the very end.




The problem is that I do not want any imperfections. Any fold, crease, jiggle is an imperfection in my eyes. No one can fix my kaleidoscopic vision unless they have a time machine to sail back through time and raise that little girl in a way that would save her eyes from deformation. Though I highly doubt it was in the way I was raised or grew up...and it is definitely not because I dislike growing up or the fact that media is influential. I really despise the fool that came up with that one! You cannot tell me that the media has broken my mind or that remaining a child would have stopped this for I was a child when it began. Ha, I'd be more likely to have a full recover if a such thing existed as DNA tampering! I need some futuristic devise to pluck out the part of my brain that sends the signal to my eyes that exaggerates every ounce of my image.


Haha! I am sorry, I've done it again! Anyhow my little blueberries, have a lovely day for me if you can! I love all of you dearly!




tumblr: link expired



1 comment:

Thoughts and replys? ^__^