be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Monday, December 10, 2012

relieved to've lost my job

I don't have a job anymore. Rob needed to go to hospital and I wanted to be there for him. Regardless of all the difficulties my job presents, I've always put my job before everything, even myself. I wanted to choose to be there for someone for once, rather than choosing my job over them. And so I called my coworker Tonya and asked if she could take my shift. She said she'd check with dragon lady to see if she could without going over-time.

Dragon lady ended up firing me b'coz I told her "I need to call off." She wasn't going to let me and I knew that. She said: Well I'll just take you off the schedule, I'm done. He's a grown man." before she could say anything else I said alright and hung up. Part've me did it b'coz I needed to choose someone I love over my job for once and stop being afraid. The other part've me wanted my job over. No more stress from the people and no more stress from the constant food temptations.

...I'm leaving for home tomorrow... I'm so flipping scared its ridiculous! Anxiety level ten!

1 comment:

  1. Oh holy crap! It was a shitty place but that is unlawful dismissal. Even though you don't want to work there again (And tbh WHO WOULD? NOBODY!!!) you could have their asses. You should do it *evil grin*

    Is Rob ok? What was wrong? I hope you're both ok!

    Yikes! *Huggles* I hope your trip home goes alright? Can you blog while you're there? I hope you can. I'm going to miss you and be worried. I do hope it goes well.

    Love you tons Kii <3 <3

    ReplyDelete

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