thanksgiving dinner? ahhh why not? :3

im late but happy thanksgiving girls! :3 i know its a hard time for all of you and i hope you survived ok without too much panic. im happy to say that this is the very first enjoyable holiday meal that ive had and you know what? i smiled through it! ^__^ i ate without over eating. though i admit i ate a tad bit more even after i was full, but i didnt feel a bit guilty for it! i didnt panic at the thought of what was in my food, how many calories there were, how many pounds i was gaining as i ate, or how gross id feel after i ate. in fact i didnt even feel any of the normal side effects eating has on me.

ive made a new, simple, meal plan for myself. one i can defo follow! its in the sidebar in place of the modified ABC. i gess im not that far yet cuz i still screw up :P since ive returned from vancouver, the only meal plan ive been following is trying to stay away from greasy/oily foods and not over eating/being sure i stop as soon as im full. ive been making sure to drink water during my meals and have been staying attentive to how close to full i get. i allow myself to be full but i stop as soon as i realize it. its been working pretty well! my calories are usually between 700-900. im finding that to be the hardest to go against without feeling horrible. its a huge OCD for me as well as for most of you. that and cooking with butter/oil/salt. thats partially from the way my family cooks i think cuz my mom does it too...i had no idea how many things can be inherited. i recently found out that i posses a characteristic of my father that ive never even witnessed! O.o (as a child he always apologized to his mother for being sick when he was. he felt he was inconveniencing her. obviously i wouldnt know about it seeing as i wasnt born ^__^ but i do the same. i apologize to anyone who is taking care of me, for being sick.) anyway, i wanna eat mostly veggies for my lunches. that will be more and more possible when i eventually have money coming in. i think it sounds awesome to have a light but substantial breakfast, a salad and some fruit for lunch and fish or tofu and steamed veggies for dinner! i hardly eat red meat as it is so im good in that area but i dont think i really like chicken anymore either O.o never thought id say that honestly XD i thought that would be my only flaw to becoming full pesco. im growing tired of chicken, oh well, cant hurt right?!

EDIT: ...wanna know a reason why i prefer fish to any other meat? like i said, red meat stinks to me unless its cooked a certain style, i cant eat too much of it without grossing out. but the main reason why i cringe at the thought of eating real, un-processed red meat or fowl is because it reminds me of muscle. the way it strings when you tear it apart...if you look at a human muscle anatomy chart, our muscles look to me like they'd come apart stringy when you eat it the way chicken does and beef does when its tender (like roast). if i dont remember/picture that while im eating, im ok. but once i think about it its ruined. kinda turns my stomach and then it starts smelling bad like rotting flesh... O.o

ive been doing core exercises for the past week and a half and my abs are starting to show! AND ive got small girl-biceps now yay! :3 i am happy. all i want is less flab, less loose skin, less jiggles, a tight flat tummy, and a 1" space between my upper thighs! is that too much to ask? haha it really is if im not doing any cardio XD so for that, shame on me. ive got the muscles under there hiding, i just need to burn the fat covering them is all. i still have a tummy pooch but its not as bad as it was. ive also been stretching daily and am proud to say that when i go to touch my toes, i can now touch the length of my fingers flat on the floor!!! im working on getting my palms to lay flat and being able to do splits...O.o gosh, that will be a bit...

i FINALLY got hand sanitizer in key chain size! :D ive been looking everywhere and of corse when i want it, no one carries it anymore :P i was So happy when boyfriend came home with it for me the other day. i pulled off the ugly brand stickers and drew a cute face on it XD i was about ready to buy a regular small hand-sani and crochet a holder for it haha! now i wont have to gross out the whole time after someone touches me. now its like: "wanna shake my hand??? ummm...--i got hand sani!--...ok i gess if you gotta." haha! instead of "oooh shit...i have to meet people...that means shaking hands...nasty! what did you touch?! im dirty, im dirty, im dirty, imddirtyimdirtyimdirty! gotta wash gottawashgottawashgottawash! ewww the dirt is moving up my arm!" at least its not as bad as it was. id yell at my mom and brother for touching me and run straight to the bathroom! and for people i didnt know, id just stare at their hand instead of shanking it.

i made my first sale in my new business and so far i have 3 other customers! one girl wants a little turtle costume for her puppy! so cute! right now, since im starting out, if they have any ideas on what they want me to make, i just see if i can figure a way to make it if i can. that way i dont have to turn down any customers i may get unless i havent the skill to do what they ask. i need all the money i can get! ive got people to buy presents for! ^__^ that is the funnest part of Christmas, buying things for others.

also, new profile pic, new photos, and new music in the side bar! :3 i am in love with every song on that playlist ^__^ lemme know what you think!