be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Áine's progress

This is a practice watercolour I did in a separate sketchpad, thus the warped paper haha. It was only 80lb so it didn't hold up very well.
 
 
 And here is Áine!!! Currently working on shading and adding texture her body. I am rather proud've her I must admit ^///^ Originally I'd wanted to sketch her first then finish off by watercolour in various hues of red to better resemble Áine's physical character traits: Lair Derg --the Red Mare-- and the Faerie Queen of Munster; but now, looking at my work thus far, and considering the fact that I've never really worked with watercolours, I'm concerned I'll ruin it.
 
 
I'm happy for my intake today. I am doing well, my mind is in a better place from my last post. Excuse that one by the way, I just needed somewhere to get that bit out. I honestly don't know what happened. Today, I am being lenient with myself, more forgiving. I told myself to forget what I'm eating and just work on calories. I had a small side of black beans and rice from Taco Bell for breakfast and a baked sweet potato with carrots green beans and beets for dinner. I'm a bit growly at the moment so I'll probably have a small something to keep the monster at bay. It's okay for now. As long as I'm not binging or being a pig, I'm not disgusted with myself. Do I move from plan to plan or what? Haha what an impatient person I am! When something gores wrong, my mind races to figure out what went wrong and doesn't stop until it creates a solution...or a possible solution I should say.
 
I've spent nearly 2.5 hours now jotting down safe food items {mostly things on the side menu or kid's meals} for just-in-case purposes. I've got Taco Bell, KFC, Chic-fil-A, and Burger King. In that time, I've also been researching grocery foods for my next grocery visit. I don't like scrambling while I'm there, trying to find the lowest calorie version of some something that I need. Ie- the MILLIONS of cereals they can cram pack into one isle is ridiculous! I've pickd out a list of some pretty safe foods! I'm rather pleased with it.
 
Off to Netflix I go!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, your work is gorgeous! Holy crap yuo have so much skill I feel like anything I do is stick figures in comparison 0.0

    Aine is beautiful. If you're not confident with your watercolour skills yet you could put off colouring her until you have more practise or use coloured pencil or prisma markers or something?

    Lol as a stupormarket slave I can say that yes we do stock a ridiculously wide number of things of a given product. In the deli we have three kinds of coleslaw. THREE. Far too sodding many! It's all shredded cabbage ffs!

    I'm glad you liked the intro! Chapter One is up, omg huge wall of text. I really need to put more description of the scenery in when I edit. I have half-pictures in my head but can't get them out properly because I need to PUSH ON with the plot. Ugh, don't like.

    I'm a fizzy drink addict too. Try not to indulge too often because it makes my stomach bloat so I go through phases :/ I love coke zero, diet ice cream soda and sugar free L&P. I could seriously live on those if O wasn't paranoid about crashing my metabolism.

    Omg you're so right, diet coke and coke zero taste so different. Must me the kinds of sweetners or something.

    Sending tons of love from Down Under <3

    ReplyDelete

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