picnic function day

continuing from yesterday, remember the steak and baked potato for dinner last night? i ended up doing a small binge and purge. i just thought "ah what the fuck!" and i ate the whole steak, the baked potato with the skin, ketchup, a hostess cupcake, the ones with the chocolate top and cream filling, and a crumb cake. O.o dam im a fat ass! i know i purged the 968cal from the dinner binge, but i still feel like i ate all those cals...

(from previous blog)

Triscuit: 20cal 3:00p

Half cookie: 50cal 650p

(todays blog)

Steak: 280cal 11:35p (purge 11:47p)

Baked potato: 278 11:35p (purge 11:47p)

Ketchup: 30cal 11:35p (purge 11:47p)

Hostess cupcake: 210cal 11:35p (purge 11:47p)

Hostess cinnamon streusel cake: 170cal 11:35p (purge 11:47p)

Plus the triscuit and half cookie earlier today (in my previous blog)

38cal over -__-

1o38cal eaten

968-10% = 871.2cal purged

166.8cal net total

after dinner i sketched a pretty good picture if i do say so myself ^__^ i dont have my camera right now, its being borrowed, so ill take a pic tomorrow. for now, heres what i copied it from:

(i didnt take this pic, i found it on the internet.)

we had to go to a picnic function sorta thing today. i got kinda depressed cuz some of the guys were playing baseball and there were people everywhere and food and games and kids...it just made me so sad. my heart hurt. it reminded me about when my dad used to play softball and we'd go out to his softball picnics...i want to go back in time. i miss my young carefree life. i miss daddy's little girl. i miss the happy family i used to naively believe we were. i cried for a minute but i didnt want anyone to know so i hid my face. luckily it was ok, i was able to regain myself and be normal.

of course, there was food though. i couldnt say i had already eaten since they know i didnt, they were with me thr whole time. so i ate a hamburger with hardly any ketchup at all, i wiped most of it off, and about 13 doritos. i took extra small bites and picked on the bun. i was only gonna eat half and throw the rest away but i dunno, i couldnt :/ damit i can never stay on track! i got upset so i went to the bathroom and purged it all. then i felt so much better! relief! funny thing was i was only thinking about hurrying and getting it all out that i ended up purging in the mens bathroom hehe when i saw the urinals i just thought it was unisex. some parks do have unisex bathrooms.

Hamburger: 420cal 1:20p (purge 1:30p)

Bun: 120cal 1:20p (purge 1:30p)
Ketchup: 4.3cal 1:20p (purge 1:30p)
Doritos: 185.5cal 1:25p (purge 1:30p)

270.2cal under OMGOSH thats so close!
729.8cal eaten
729.8-10%= 656.82cal purged
73.6cal net total