and the truth comes from a cartoon

Okay, talk about feeling a sad waste of a person. I was in the middle've a binge. With a dessert bar in hand, halfway eaten, I sat on the couch in front've the televison. As I sat I looked up to the television and saw a morbidly obese woman riding a scooter around a Walmart. Then Kenny from Southpark said, "That's you one day fat ass!" I stopped chewing and lowered my hand away mouth, "Not even one day; if you don't change something, that's you, in about a year!" I nearly cried and threw out the rest've that blasted dessert bar! How ironic that it would happen that way but it did. This needs to stop. I need to try harder to stop this before it's too late. I need to do something but I'm lost as to what. I've tried pretty much all I've thought of to stop the binges. I need to do my absolute best to get back the mindset I had when I stopped binging.

Caffiene meter for metabolism effects:
Coffee 100-120mg
Black tea 30-60mg
Green tea 25-50mg
Decaf tea 1-8mg
Herbal tea and tisane 0mg

So of course I went out and bought more black tea and am drinking a pot've super strong black coffee. I like black coffee but this stuff is way out've my comfort range  for what I can handle. But I'm drinking it anyway, I don't care that it doesn't taste good, I need the metabolism!


{WARNING: RANT}
On another note, my boss was horrible to me yet again today. I had morning shift today. She claimed I'd left the bane empty again, I didn't fill the sauces and she said I didn't cut any tomatoes. I saw the bane for myself b'coz I came in the exact same time as she did, it looked fine! And I admit two or three've the sauces weren't filled completely, they could've used maybe a tablespoon more but big deal! When she tried to tell me I didn't cut tomatoes, I had to argue that one b'coz no one is going to tell me I didn't do something I know I did!

"So are you just not cutting tomatoes now? Or what?"
"I did the tomatoes."
"Well R said ya didn't, cuuuz there wasn't any in there."
"I cut tomatoes every night, I did them!"
"Nah ya didn't." {she tries to talk like a black woman but she's a redneck.}
"Yea I did, I cut tomatoes."
"Sooo, R's lying then?"
"I don't know but I did them."

And later on she had a phone conversation in my hearing range, on purpose no doubt.
"She swears she did um so I guess R's a liar, you're a liar, I'm a liar...I don't know what's goin on cuz that's two nights in a row now."

I want to know how someone can tell you, you didn't do something you did?
Hey, you're not breathing or living.
What?? Yes I am.
No, you're not. In fact, you never got out've bed this morning. You're not typing this blog either.
Um, okay, whatever you say boss.

Maybe I need to start brining my camera to work to document. I should photograph and film everything I do while I work so when I'm told I didn't, I have some solid evidence that yes, yes I did, suck that one long and hard and then shove it! I already wonder if I'm losing my mind and second guess myself on a daily basis, I don't need your assistance in that area, thank you.

I have been treated less than by her for so long that I just didn't care anymore. It still bothered me, just not in the way it used to for some reason. It was like, the more frustrated and angry she got, the more I found it funny. It was even hard for me not to laugh at times. I used to be intimidated by her, but today? No, not a bit. B'coz I know I am in the right, whenever she started rambling off to me about how I need to do my job or whatever other BS she felt she needed to pick on, I just chewed on my nails, nodded my head, mumbled uh huh's and mm hmm's and if she went on too long I just slowly walked away to do something that needed to be done while saying my uh huh's and mm hmm's. I felt so evil today for actually enjoying it haha! Correct me if I'm wrong, but when you've been stepped on and taken for granted for that long, I s'pose it's bound to happen.

Omgosh she's lucky she shut her mouth and slowed down on the belittling when she did b'coz there was just the two've us this morning and if she didn't, I was going to walk out without so much as a goodbye. Just drop the line, apologize to my customers, walk to the back, grab my stuff and leave. She has always said I am her best employee and she always said she'd be upset if I ever left b'coz it'd be hard to fill my spot; she has a swell way've showing it! She is nice when she needs you, that's how she plays.

When I do finally quit, I will either speak my mind to her, or leave her a nice letter saying something like:

I am done working for you. I quit.

I am done being taken advantage of, I am done being treated like I am less than a person, I am done being manipulated.

And before you even begin to say "I never did blah blah blah" you did, and here is when you did:

1) You made me work with the flu for whatever cruel reason. I was running from the line to vomit and comming back to help customers while looking like I'd just vomitted {fyi- they all knew it}.

2) When A's grandmother was in the hospital and you said those horrible things about it, complaining that A wanted off to visit her grandmother, and I told A what you said b'coz I was upset and A was my friend, you turned it around on me. You called her mom crying, saying you weren't a bad person and saying I made it up to start drama to kick A when she was down.

3) The day of that car accident I was in, you didn't even ask how I was. Your only concern was that I got to work. You told me to take a cab to work.

4) Now this new thing that's going on.

Now, I sort've expect you to treat me this way b'coz I'm nobody, I'm just your employee. I have no relation to you beside working for you, not to mention this is the fast food industry. This sort've thing is common from food managers; but you treat your own daughter this way as well. She is a kind hearted person who does everything she can for you. She is ALWAYS there when you need her. Even when she is upset at the things you do to her and the way you treat her, she is still there when you need her and she answers your calls when you decided to kiss her ass so she helps you out.

She didn't have to tell me anything about it either, I can see it for myself. All of us do.

 

 

I probably won't ever say all that but well, I'm ranting haha!