another note for today

You know there is a problem when you're sneaking around in the kitchen, logging in the nutrition labels of all the food regardless if you ever plan on eating it, or when you take an hour at the grocery {for what could have taken 15 min} studying nutrition labels b'coz you can't decide on which soup to get b'coz there are so many different kinds and b'coz keeping track of which ones had the lowest calories is confusing. I actually go to great lengths to log nutrition labels of anything I can get my hands on! I once spent 3 hours on my day off at the grocery just looking at all the blasted nutrition labels! I didn't have anything to log them down on that trip unfortunately. I haven't actually had an off day to log anything down at the grocery just yet, but I'm planning a trip ASAP. It's utter stupidity I know, but I can't stop thinking about it day and night so I may as well give in before it consumes me completely.

On a seperatally note, I feel very fake. I know it is just a common misconception that girls like us don't eat certain things, but I can't help feeling like I need to hide the fact that I do eat chocolate, or maybe an 80 calorie sluce've cinnamon pumpkin swirl bread, or a Fiber One brownie as long as it fits into my calorie limit. I feel like I'm cheating somehow. Like I'm being sneaky finding loop-holes in my minds intake planner. Not to sound creepy or cheesy, whichever way you may take this, but there is something else in my mind that decides what, how much of that what and when I will eat that what every day. For instance I have a menu of recipes I am allowed and if, after my 3 daily chosen recipes, I have any calorie allowance left in my day, I will plan a certain ammount've snacks to keep me from binging. I don't know I'm speaking in sleepy riddles. Better go to bed. Nighty night!