be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

dragon lady strikes again!

 
 
I've lost a pound and I didn't binge today! I've to say I was a bit worried but I didn't think I would. It didn't feel like a binge day to me.
 
At 3 o'clock today, I walked into a bundle of complaints and bouts of disapproval mixed in with accusations under the pretense of concern.
 
My lovely boss told me last night not to use any of our cloth rags to wipe up anything that would stain them and make them unusable b'coz she'd failed to order a box of them for the week. It is my job to scrub out the oven every night and keep the dragon lady from unleashing her cold heartless words of hate and belittlement. Now we've already run out've our green scratchy pads which leaves me with lousy thin paper towels that flatten and dissolve into tiny crumbly bits which I'll just have to scoot out along with all the other dead pieces of food. It gives absolutely no help in scrubbing a filthy oven of it's crusty burnt up layer of blackened cheese and tomato sauce that sits in it's belly like a dried up tar pit. She decided that she didn't like looking at it, b'coz it really is a disgusting site, and so I am the obvious one to blame. I stood up for myself:
 
The oven wasn't done last night I don't know what's goin on.
We've been out've the green scrath pads so I had to use paper towels and that didn't really work, but-- {I was going to say that since we've more rags tonight it'd look better, but she cut me off}
Well there was five rags left over! Ya coulda used one!
You said not to wipe up anything nasty with them.
There was FIVE left!!!
 
After speaking my peace, I sort've just stood there letting her ramble on, moving into how I don't clean down the pans at all and how I never wash the tea containers out. I know for a fact I do, they are bleached out every night and spotless. In fact, my coworker was just saying to me a few nights earlier that I am the only one who does it. I stayed for a short while but didn't feel like listening to anymore. She was taking too long with her nonsense. I just left her to stew in her own words leaving her behind without a word. I have to say I did laugh a litto to myself as I walked away. It's funny to hear the almighty dragon lady going on and on about ill-founded things as I walk away. She had absolutely no idea I was gone; went on for some time, in fact. I'd gotton halfway through an order by time she realised it I'm sure. There was no sound way she could be angry with me about it b'coz for all she knows, I tried to tell her, I had customers to help, but she just wouldn't shut up long enough.
 
Furthermore, she decided to attack my personal life --yet again-- asking how everything was at home. I didn't understand at first, but after a few seconds I realised she was referring to a story I'd made up to explain my reason for not answering my phonewhen my coworker called on my personal time, and why I said: I turned it off b'coz I hate people and didn't want to speak to anyone. I'd told her some rubbish fib about being upset b'coz my mum's husband was treating her badly and not supporting her. It was simply shoving a gag in her mouth so she'd stop poking into my personal business, trying to figure out why I'm "acting out" standing up for myself. Anyhoot, after yelling at me about the oven and me walking away to help customers, she aked how everything was going. I knew it was clearly a ploy to basically say: Hey, you're acting out again, is there a reason???! Under the pretense of: I'm a caring boss and I really hope everything is okay.
 
Ya, okay, whatever you say... dragon lady.
 
I'm going to call this strike one.
Two more to go.
And then I walk out without a word.
Never to be seen again.
B'coz I hate that place and it's backstabbing untrustworthy workers.
That's what happens when you work in a place where everyone is related in one way or another... accept you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thoughts and replys? ^__^