I've been contemplating a tattoo for a long while now. I'm very indecisive and rather flowy on the things I like and dislike. My interests change so often that I am afraid I'll get a tattoo, absolutely love it to death, and then hate it a month later. I think if I ever got one it'd be a tree or a bird. Something small. Maybe on my neck or somewhere on my back so I could be sure it's covered no matter my work environment. Birds are a symbol of freedom and bliss to me and nature is a safe place in my mind thus trees.
I spiked and also binged today. It was torture, I wanted to cry all day b'coz I didn't like the feeling inside me. I started out in honesty, trying to up my calories to fit the lmit so I can lose again and to keep me from feeling dizzy, but of course the day I choose to actually have breakfast and plan to eat throughout the day, is the day we get in a new kind of cookie at work! Gah! My coworker took them out'vethe freezer taunting me: "Loook, we got new coookiesss." while I think "Shut the fuck up!!! And put those litto chocolate hockey puck daemons back where they came from! ...really? Did you really've to do that to me you asshole? If you hadn't've taken them out've the freezer, I'd've never known b'coz we're not selling them yet! But nooo, you just had to do that!" He wanted me to bake a tray, so I did. And I had a few {5!}. I thought I was just going to have one, but of course I had to try one as cookie dough and of course I just had to try on baked as well... you know where it went from there. But I have good feelings about tomorrow. It doesn't feel like a binge cycle usually does. I usually know when that is coming. Ugh, I'm so bloated. Sine I had unsafe food, I think my body is expecting to be sick b'coz {this sounds disgusting} I feel it right in my throat and when I get one've those bubbles of reflux or a sort've burp, I'm not sure what it is, it wants to come up -__- ugh.
Good news! I got a letter from my friend today! I've been waiting ever patiently for it to arrive! We've been pen pals for a few letters now ^__^ it's always exciting to get something other than bills in the mail! Something that's meaningful with words individually thought out and formed into sentences that are written specifically for you. I had to explain it to her a bit. She thought I was asking to give her a prison buddy to communicate with by letter! Heavens no! I wondered why she seemed weary of it, I would be too!
When my father was in prison, time before last, he was so excited to get out and the guards rushed him, that he forgot a box've letters and addresses that he'd had during his time there. That included my letters. Well his cell mate decided to send me a letter that started off like a dating site intro: My name is {let's go with Larry}, I am 24yrs old, I am 6' 2" with brown hair and brown eyes. I went to college and I'm educated. I got my bachelors degree, etc. He said things like how my father spoke of me often and how he thinks I am a beautiful person and wants to be friends and tried to say that my father said it was alright for him to contact me. Ha! My father isn't the best man or father in the world, but he'd never condone that in a million years and I know it. Safe to say I never mailed him back.
That tea light is SO CUTE. I wonder how it doesn't just go out with no air coming in tho? hmmm..... How come your dad was in prison? You're a good girl. I would have wrote {Larry} back :-P
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