be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Friday, July 2, 2010

pretty good today =)

ive developed an obsession with blueberries XD everything and anything blueberry that you could imagine! blueberry special k cereal, blueberry special k bars, tea, lotion, perfume, shampoo, conditioner everything haha! i just love blueberries! i want to smell blueberries all the time ^__^ i want to smell like them!


a few minutes ago xxx came back up from downstairs holding 2 cups with forks and i thought, "crap!" he said "here." in a firm, you will eat it voice. so i had no choice, he already made it. lucky me he went downstairs so i ran to the toilet and dumped 3/4 of it and flushed. i waited a while and went downstairs. saved for today! that fucking cup had 300cal in it! O.o


1 Special K bar strawberry: 90cal 6:15p
1/4 Cup A Noodle: 75cal 10:03p
335cal under
165cal eaten

"I Like Everything"
I like curly, wavey, somewhat messy hair.
Clips, bows, polka dot ribbons.
Colorful rubber bands and hats of all shapes and sizes.
I like odd tops that are ugly.
Tops with funny sayings, tops that are little, tops that are big.
I like to drown in a top that is too large or suffocate in a top that is too tiny.
I like jumpers, shorts, skirts and dresses.
Long shorts, short skirts, flowing dresses.
Bubble shorts, bubble skirts.
Short shorts made with denim, corduroy, and classy fabrics.
I like covering my cream colored legs.
Pink socks with black stripes, leggings lined with lace, stockings with little suspended dots.
I like black shoes, white shoes, pink, green, orange, and yellow.
Shoes that click when i walk and squeak when i turn.
Mesh shoes, clear shoes, canvass shoes.
I like pearls, beads, silver and plastic.
Teapots and merry-go-rounds from my neck.
Brushes from my wrists and stars from my fingers.
I like music that calms the restless soul, music that wakes up your life, music i cant understand and says everything without a single word.
I like singers that stand out with crazy hair, ugly style and singers that cant sing.
Singers whose voices hypnotize your mind.
I like soft, thick, warm blankets in winter and thin, airy light blankets in the summer.
Blankets that keep me safe, wrap me up and rest lightly on my skin.
I like the dinosaurs on my tiny blanket all year round for the little girl inside me.
Light, old, and smells like dust it keeps my childhood alive.
I like parks with trees, green grass and hills.
Warm, cool breeze to mess my hair, swings to reach the sky, slides to feel a rush.
Crawling through kiddy tunnels and climbing up the wrong way on slides.
I like escalators and glass elevators.
Keeping my legs still and making the moving rails pull me in.
Waiting until the last minute before I jump off.
Watching the people below with bags, carts and purses.
I like old books, new books and library books.
Hard, soft, broken or torn.
About love, laughter and painful journies to happiness.
I like smells.
Books, flowers, berries, vanilla, coffee, rain, my love and my blanket.
The smell of old books to make my soul tingle with joy.
Coffee in the morning that make my senses twirl.
The smell of rain in the air to make my skin tingle.
I like to wake to the sound of birds and the feel of my loves soft skin brushing mine.
Soft breathing that fills the room, the rise of his chest under my palm.
I like colors of fruits and vegetables.
Crunchy orange, thin white, tube green, round red and blue.
I like coffee, tea and water.
Vanilla tea, clear water, black coffee.
Bluberry tea, fruit water, sugar coffee.
Strawberry tea, vitamin water, marshmellow coffee.
I like drinking from sippy cups, eating hello kitty spoons and on smiley face plates.
I like being werid, hyper and fun.
Sleeping in my lap, buying ugly things, squeaking when im happy.
Sticking out my tounge and smiling, tilting my head and staring at things.
I like to twirl, jump, hop and skip.
I like the sky.
The clouds that drift hiding the continents from being baked like cookies.
The birds that soar, wings spread, for miles.
Swaying trees that frame my gaze above.
I like the ocean filled with life.
People at beaches, fish in the sea and coral in reefs.
Seals that guard their pups with their life, otters with clams on their fuzzy wet tummies, sharks that threaten to end their lives.
I like big teddy bear dogs, scamppering playful ferrets and teenie bright yellow fluffy birdies.
I like to watch the rainbow colors in bubbles swirl furiously while i blow until they fade and pop.
I like cute little desk lamps.
Dangling chains, colorful glass and shiny stands.
I like old fashioned things.
White creamy teapots, cups and saucers with pretty flowers and silver rims.
Houses with untouched treasure filled attics.
Heavy victorian hair brushes with soft white bristles.
Cold brass beads that creak when you sit.
I like girly fragrances in pretty glass bottles.
Fragrances that tickle my nose and make me smile.
Spray and watch the little dots of smell fall into my clothes.
I like smooth liquidy lotion.
Drawing happy faces on my thigh and making it cry as i drag my finger through one eye.
I like beautiful photos of smiles, ribs, hips and spines.
Girls with flowers in their hair, flowers lit up by the sun, dainty open-back dresses, and cute little strawberry jewelry.
I lilke watching fish glide through water.
Seewt, uncaring and blistfully pecking at plants.
Hiding under rocks and sleeping in cups, fins swaying with the motion of the water.
I like soft, cute, adorable lizards.
Living together in a hole in my tree.
Hiding from day and eating at night.
Licking their glowing golden eyes.
I like sparklers for New years or late night romance.
Drawing stars in the night sky and writing my loves name on the cool asphalt.
I like everything.

1 comment:

  1. I LOVE blueberries. You are so incredibly good at avoiding food. When someone hands me food I always cave. You're amazing!

    ReplyDelete

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