YAY!!! ive been staying cheap!

June 6

yesterday went good until i had a fucking binge on graham crackers and a peanut butter jelly sandwich. i couldnt purge because i ate too fast and all the air in my tummy made it hard to purge silently. oh mother of all hell my tummy hated the fuck outta me! i felt like i had to take the worst crap of my pathetic life it hurt so bad! my tummy must ABSOLUTELY HATE peanut butter!!! after a while i couldnt take it i went to the bathroom and purged it all! lucky me the air had time to come up through little burps in the time i waited.

i needed a scratch bad on my back so i bent over and asked him to scratch my back for me and after a while
"you have to eat more..."
"why??"
"i can see your ribs and you spine real bad..."
"oh...thats good!"
"...babe..."
i get up and hug him with my head facing down and my cheek on his chest "i like it." he cant see but i have the biggest smile.
"i dont..."
"why?? its good. im healthy theres nothing to worry about."
"but i dont like it, its not good it makes me sad."
"...it makes me happy."
"fine, if it makes you happy..."
"what love? im fine."
"....."
"im trying to eat..."
"i know..."

1 baby carrot: 2cal 4:35p
1 no-sugar/low-calorie jello cup: 10cal 6:15p
1/4 hamburger: 62.5cal 8:30p
binge

_?_cal over
_?_cal eaten

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 7

today i did ok. i thought i made a horrible mistake by eating the rest of my salmon meal (140) too early. he ended up wanting me to eat again later so i made a cup of stir fry (40cal) and had a cup of jello. but it wasnt so bad, i stayed under 200 while satisfying his want for me to eat =)


1/2 Logan's Roadhouse Misquite Wood-Grilled Salmon: 140cal 4:45p
1c stir fry: 40cal 11:45p
chew/spit 1 cinnamon roll: 130cal 5:10p
1 no-sugar/low-calorie jello cup: 10cal 12:05a


310cal under
190cal eaten

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 8

i had to get up early today so we could take xxx's mom to work and the dog to the groomer. i woke up, made tea and ate 2/4c kix and 1/4c fruity marshmellow minis =) it was good and i feel good today! i didnt do anything today other than that today and my calories were ok =) ive been managing to stay under 200cal for the most part =)

calories are eaten at the expense of my body, so if you think about it the more calories a food has the more expensive it is XD haha just a weird thought i came up with, wow, its weird! XD

2/4c Kix: 44cal 7:00a
1/4c fruity marshmellow minis: 25cal 7:00a
1 plum: 30cal 5:30p
1 stalk celery:6cal 8:43p
2 baby carrots: 4cal 8:43p
a drop of dressing: 5cal 8:43p
chew/spit 1 yokan: 170cal 9:00p
1/2 oatmeal packet: 65cal 12:15p
couple fruity marshmellow minis: 5cal 12:15p
drop of chocolate sauce: 3cal 12:15p (guilty pleasure)

313cal under
187cal eaten