be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

being sick and binging is SO not smart

i woke up earlier today. i just couldnt sleep anymore. but i took a litto nap at around 1p because i started feeling ill like the beginning of a fever. boyfriend woke me at 2 to let me know he was going to work for his paycheck and hot topic for blue hair dye. he asked if i wanted anything so i asked for soup, the campbell's select harvest ones. theyre between 50-80cal per cup. he said they had those at work so he brought some home. now ive 1 can of campbell's select harvest and one can of progresso light ,yay for low cal!

cept i screwed up the low cal soup by later eating a chocolate hazelnut spread sandwich AND a doughnut right after! now i feel even sicker and nauseous ug! and i messed up ABC fuck...


maybe i should start again. i dunno if i wanna start again or wait till after the 30th... or fuck it just one more dam day maybe i should just start next month! .....AH! but then theres the cake on boyfriends birthday and the possibility of his mom taking us out...damit all. ok heres the plan since i didnt take all that into consideration. since im not permitted 300-below, ill do 3, 5, 7, 9 (instead of 2, 4, 6, 8), until the 11 of next month on boyfriends b-day THEN start ABC! wait, maybe not 9, i dont know if i can handle going up to 900cals so i think just 357 skip the 9. but isnt that neat, his birthday is september 11 XD

EDIT: ok, i had just bought a new type of tampons last month, which ive never used before. its those colorful kotex ones in the black box, the U - click*, im a sucker for colors and pretty wrapping! XD but i only spotted so i couldnt get to really see just how well they work...well i did tonight! they work for crap! i was using the o.b. brand but for some reason they started to hurt, i gess because they changed the way they made it. so please please pleeease any tampon suggestions girls? and let me know if its applicator or not. ^__^ thankyuuu superly!

meal- 1 slice toast, 1tsp jelly: 63cal 11:00a
meal- 1c Progresso light chicken noodle soup, 13 gummy bears: 182cal 5:45
meal- 2 slices bread, 2tsp Nutella, 1 chicken strip: 246cal 9:00p
snack- 1 doughnut: 290cal 9:30p

781cal total

5 comments:

  1. playtex. gentle glide. AMAZING.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ^ I agree with Ash, the Platex gentle glide (regular w/deodorant) are the ones I always get & I love them! They've never bothered me at all & the applicator's great! Tampax hurts for me (even the Tampax pearl ones) so I wouldn't recommend those- but that's just me (I know everyone's different)
    =)

    ReplyDelete
  3. when i first got my period i swore by the tampax pearl , that is till i pinched some rather sensative skin in my nether region with the applicator lol. now i go with the off brand playtex (because im a cheapskate).

    alot of my friends are in love with the tampons that dont have an applicator and you just push them in with your fingers or something (never tried them myself). i heard they work great if your more sensative down there.
    good luck on your quest for crotch plugs!
    :P
    meg

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha you guys are super awesome!!! thankyuuu super!

    ps- im on a mac at best buy! XD haha its so cool! but i wouldnt be able to go mac, i dont like change haha im already a windows gal ^__^

    ReplyDelete
  5. i use the playtex gentle guide as well
    the super plus kind just cause ifi use the bigger ones i can leave it in all day

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts and replys? ^__^