be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Friday, June 4, 2010

am i wanting too much by waiting for marriage for a house?

i still feel kinda weak. it takes a little more work to walk up the steps and to get out of the car. whatever it is i hope its figured out, i dont want it happening again! i would much rather not go to the hospital again. i really wonder if theyre just gonna do a crappy ass job and pretend they tested the blood and tell me i have nothing wrong. cuz there has to be something, ive had heat sensitivity for so long and thats a symptom of thyroid issues.

todays been a pretty good day besides the insomnia X_x its 5:10 on june 4 but this will count as june 3 since i havent slept ^__^ its just me and xxx in the new house tonight. hmmm too bad i have my period, this house needs to be christened ^//^ i cant wait until we get a place of our own! itll be so much better! but i dont know if i want to just yet... i mean its bad enough we live together (well im not saying its bad and i dont like it), but once you live together comfortably and without other people/family/friends living with you, then it wont feel special when you get married. i just want when we get married to feel new and happy, not regular and same-old, same-old, ya know? i want to move to a house of our own toether when we decide to get married. but maybe im wanting too much, its not like we can really continue living like this, but i kinda want to until we get married. i want that relief and happiness of a place all our own to be what we feel when we get married. i dont know, i just dont want our wedding day to be just another day but with people, food and fancy attire...oooh how good it will be if i can fit into a size 0!

1/4 spaghetti: 127cal 2:00p
1 Mc Donalds soft serve ice cream cone: 150cal 10:45p (purge 10:48p)
4 pc Mc Donalds chicken nuggets: 190cal 10:45p (purge 10:48p)
1/2 Mc Donalds Sweet N' Sour sauce: 25cal 10:45p (purge 10:48p)

508cal under
492cal eaten
365-10%= 328.5cal purged
163.5cal net total

1 comment:

  1. Hiya, thanks for following and commenting :)
    The shakes I drink are called Nutrilett. I'm not sure if they sell them outside of Norway, but here is what they look like: http://www.google.no/images?q=nutrilett&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:nn-NO:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=nn&tab=wi
    They have everything from milk shakes to smoothies to soups, and its all part of a VLCD, very low calorie diet :)
    xx Lisa

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts and replys? ^__^