be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

wooo! im on a fucking roll! :D


i am doing so fucking good i cant fucking believe myself! here's the turn-around, pick-me-up i needed! now lets not screw it up, fat ass! so far i havent eaten anything at all and the day is almost fucking over wooo! ive been drinking water and genmaicha (brown tea aka popcorn tea). i made it taste pretty good too! i added a tad cinnamon, a teenie peice of apple and a dash of sugar while the water was boiling. pretty good if i do say so myself. im thinking of seeing what boiling oats into it tastes like XD

when lunch came around xxx said
"im dying for burger king im so fucking hungry, im starving!" XD
"we gonna go?..."
"ya. you want something?"
"um..."
"burger king...taco bell? you still got that soup in there too."
"ummm.....i dont know....." i know, this is like a horror movie but instead of saying "he's behind the door idiot!" your reading this saying "soup! say soup!..SOUP!" XD
"i can take you to taco bell"
"...ok" and now your thinking "NOOOO!"
so i get the computer and start my calorie search.
"babe im hungry..."
i look up, "oh! sorry i thought we had to wait till your mom them get back?"
"no their taking his truck."
"oh...ok." i put the laptop down and put on my socks and shoes; ana's yelling at me the whole time, "fix it! fix it you mother fucker! dont be weak! haaa your so fucking weak!"
i realize, im not weak and i dont need/want fast food.
"actually love i change my mind. imma eat that soup."
"you sure??"
"ya!" we get in the car, "plus im not really that hungry right now, i ate a bunch a carrots after i fed the dogs." lie.
"oooh ok, good."
ana, situation avoided! thank you! i havent eaten anything yet and i think me eating soup may have been forgotten! will i? is it finally happening? am i getting away with my first fast?! i hope to hell i am!!! :D i feel so good and the stomach growling isnt phasing me...though i know if i was to fast longer than one day it would be harder. hopefully someday i can do it longer.
oh, and i got out of eating at IHop ^__^ we ended up not going haha! he wasnt hungry this morning, i was still sleeping and his mom didnt want to go, so woo! no gross, greasy calories for me!

one my most favorite singers ever! hes so sexy and i looove his voice!! i ENVY the girl in this beauty clinic commercial he does XD she's with Gackt AND shes so skinny...though...i wanna be thinner than her, she's still a step closer to thin than i am :P


and this one is awesome considering why all of us are in this blog community.
in this commercial his name is Mr. Perfect and that guys job is to bring him perfect women because he is extremely picky XD its suppose to show that Takano Yuri Beauty Clinic makes the girls beautiful...hmmm then why did they show her having a flaw?? XD

3 comments:

  1. yeaaa!!! i hope you got thru the day!! thts so exciting!! your first fast!!! you can do it!! =]

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  2. congrats on being so strong (:

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  3. One of my good friends is obsessed with Gackt. Way to show Taco Bell who's boss! :)
    xoxo

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