be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

the fat ass has a chip binge...but the pics are back!

we took the laptop to best buy and the guy found our pics and stuf. the normal way to it was corrupted for some reason. so we brought it back home, i burned everything onto disks and we're gonna take it back on monday. i had to make sure all my stuf is safe first =)

but when we came home i saw that bag of onion ring chips and that was it! tunnel vision all the way :/ i binged half the bag and went straight to purge! good thing xxx went doownstaris to smoke! if not i was gonna say i needed a shower hehe but now im probably gonna have to eat a 310cal sandwich! O.o nooooo ive had enough of food today!!! im gonna eat only half if i have to eat it, ill feel better...i still fucking screwed up today! but i gess i shouldnt complain because i got to get it out of my system at least =) thats good.

1 stalk celery: 6cal 2:00p
1 tsp dressing: 16cal 2:00p
1 yokan: 170cal 5:10p
binge 1/2 bag onion ring chips: 1449cal 7:25p (purge 7:30p)

641cal over :''(
1641cal eaten :'(
1449-10%= 1304.1cal purge
336.9cal net total

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