be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

i hope im soon surrounded by the smell of coffee, cool air and a focused atmosphere


thats a thinspo drawing i did a while ago
what'dya think? ^__^


i kinda screwed up today but i had no choice really. he insisted i get something so i went for reduced fat, of course. *sigh* still 320cal O.o but im still under and im not eating anything else today! i still have control =)

i filled out an app for starbucks. im excited and i really hope it turns out for me! its about time something does, i need a job and a little good luck, turn-around, pick-me-up, right about now ^__^ i spent all day yesterday doing research and looking up any tips on working there. got my hopes up a little too high so im trying to lower them cuz chances are i wont get the job. i have a bad habit for hope-upping and then when it doesnt turn out i get disappointed like a little pathetic baby -__- i so need to stop that haha! i was hoping for a job at the library so i could walk to work and burn some calories, but they arent hiring :P

actually! i have a little bit to be excited about! i started up exercising again a few weeks ago and im finally getting better at it! :D i can last longer without breaks. i had stopped exercising for about 3 months O.o i know, bad girl! bad!

well im relieved i was informed tonight that i have to wake up early tomorrow for...IHop -__- ug! im happy though cuz i have time to look up what im having. probably an omelet or something i dunno, ill figure it out!

5 baby carrots: 6cal 1:30p
vinegar: 0cal 1:30p
1 Honey Maid graham cracker: 30cal 1:30p
3 peach wedges: 22.5cal 4:50p
1 baby carrot: 2cal 4:50p
1 Starbucks reduced fat very berry coffee cake: 320cal 5:20p (purge 5:50)

119.5cal eaten
380.5cal eaten
320-2/3= 214.4cal purged
166.1cal net total

1 comment:

  1. you're a lucky bitch if you get a job at starbucks!
    I've been wanting to work there since the first time I walked in there.
    Hope you get the job ;p
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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