be new:

To be thin is to be beautiful, to feel beautiful, to be happy, to be new. 新しいになります。 I hope, someday, to see myself as others see me, and to be as light and happy as the leaves that blow in the wind or a beautiful balloon drifting up into the clouds...












Welcome
Hullo my little blueberry tea cups! ^__^ Thankyu for reading and being a part of my life. You help me so much. You give me more strength, determination, inspiration than if I were to be dealing with this alone and no one to speak of it to. I love and appreciate every one of you deeply! I hold each of you dear to my heart.

BEFORE JUDGING, PLEASE READ

ps.- I do not teach or wish to inspire eating disorder for it is a sickenss, not something that can be learnt. Eating disorder midset is something one is cursed with that most likely progresses slowly over the years of one's life: appearing first as a simple diet, moving forward in the form of ednos, and possibly, sadly hitting many full on as anorexia/bulimia. If you do not agree with blogs or people that support the lifestyle of the eating disordered, please leave. This blog is not for you. Please do not judge me b'coz I support others through their difficultiesor b'coz I seek support myself, for we need friends and people to talk to about our problems just as you do. Please do not proceed to tell me what I am doing is wrong, I am unhealthy, I am going to die, I need to gain weight, etc. I know what I am and what I am doing, it is not for you or anyone to tell me. I mean no disrespect for any concern; however, gaining weight and simply eating will not help me. It will make me sicker by causing mental torments.

Friday, June 4, 2010

partial success

ok so we went back to the new house and i got my spaghetti that i wanted to finish instead of eating pizza, i had a fourth left (127cal) but i found out it went bad :( so i ate that 387.5cal slice of pizza, but luckily for me xxx went to shower while i ate...i know, i should have just thrown it away or threw it in the woods or something but i feel bad when i do that, so i stuffed my fat ass face and rushed downstairs and purged it =) since no one is here but us, i left the door open so i could hear if he was done yet, hes a fucking fast bather! i feel much better but i hate letting my cals get too close to 500-600 and i hate when one meal is too close to or past 200. but i gess today was still a pretty good one =)

5 Keebler Zesta crackers: 60cal 6:10p
1 slice frozen pizza: 387.5cal 11:35p (purge 11:37p)
1 Special K strawberry bar: 90cal 12:53a

642.5cal under
537.5cal eaten
387.5-10%= 348.75cal purged
188.75cal net total ^__^

2 comments:

  1. o u purge as well
    im trying to stop that i just dont let myself binge nemore for there is no reason to purge
    omg i love the special k bars they are so good

    ReplyDelete
  2. ya i do unfortunately. i try to keep myself out of situations that make me have to, but sometimes theres no other way.

    ReplyDelete

Thoughts and replys? ^__^